Please Remember
by harunousakura
Summary: Makoto and Haru are having communication problems, in which Makoto doesn't want to burden Haru, and Haru doesn't feel worthy enough for Makoto to confide in. AU where they have been dating for three years and are living together. Glorious smut will be written towards the end of the series, since this is a 3-4 shot at most.
1. Chapter 1

**this is my third shameless MakoHaru smut and i hope you guys like it. lil' bit of Yandere!Makoto (okay maybe a lot) and some fun times with our boys :-) also this might be a little bit angsty, hehe. maybe 3 chapters or so. i don't know - i really like writing MakoHaru! for those of you who know I write for Naruto (particularly NaruSaku), please know that I haven't written smut for it yet because i don't know how to write straight lemons :-( I am working on it, however! I promise the smut is coming. Kiki xo**

* * *

Makoto was late, for the third time this week. He was a swimming coach - a very busy one, at that. He trained kids that had a passion for swimming, and had hopes of competing in the Olympics. It made me feel slightly nostalgic, and it reminded me of Rin. I smiled at that. Makoto and I lived together, splitting the bills. I, of course, had the money that my parents and my grandmother left me before they passed away. I had more than enough to spend the rest of my life lavishly. Makoto, on the other hand, came from a family that supported two other kids - and they were still studying in high school. Even though his parents sent him money every month to support him, Makoto always secretly stashed it away for future use. He was always prepared; money was no exception. Particularly when he lived with me. I always tried to secretly pay for him, though. Knowing Makoto, though, he'd get to the bills first. It frustrated me that he did.

Of course, Makoto would lie to me and say he had enough money to pay his end. The truth was that the bill was stretching him a bit thin. If Makoto knew that I knew this, it would make him feel less than he actually is. That's how Makoto was after all; he always wanted to be the one taking care of me. He always forgets that I take care of him, too. Makoto wanted to be able to pay his half of the bill, though. It would show that even when he had no money, he was still able to survive. Not only that - but he'd also be able to provide for me, which I thought was ridiculous. He always makes sure that he puts me before him, which, of course, frustrates me.

We had, after all, been dating for three years. Relying on each other was only natural, and yet, Makoto couldn't see that.

I paced around the room, checking my cell phone every two seconds, hoping that Makoto's name would appear on his phone with the message "I am on the train, on the way home." Nothing came, however. Not even a missed call. I was beginning to feel even more worried, and even slightly frustrated. I love Makoto with all my heart - even if I don't say it as often as he does - but whenever Makoto was going through a difficult moment in his life, he'd shut me out. It angered me to think that I wasn't good enough for Makoto to confide in. I knew this wasn't the case, though.

When money was beginning to become tight on him, Makoto's mother called us a lot, to check up on us. To see if we were doing all right. She knew I was paying the bills, of course. I asked her not to tell Makoto, because I knew he'd work himself to a brim to pay me back. Of course, it was unnecessary. He didn't think that way, though.

Mrs. Tachibana would ask how our relationship was - actually, it was usually the first thing she asked.

"Haru and I are fine, Mother."

Sometimes, just so that I knew Makoto was okay, I'd eavesdrop with the telephone we had in the kitchen. Makoto's voice would always sound strained, and even scared. He ranted to his mother more than he did to me, and for some reason, that made me feel really shitty. I almost felt like I wasn't a good enough boyfriend. Of course, this was before Mrs. Tachibana asked Makoto directly how he felt about our relationship.

"It seems as though you two are being stretched thin," she had said, her voice concerned.

"It's not us that's being stretched thin, kaa-san. It's me. I'm the one that's being stretched thin. You would think being an Olympic coach would give me some money."

"Well, why don't you talk to Haru?" I held my breath at this point, and I remember thinking Makoto would laugh it off and tell his mother I wouldn't listen, even though I knew I would.

Instead, Makoto was silent for a few seconds before shakily giving his reply.

"I don't... want to worry Haru," he whispers. "He's been so good to me. He's paid my part of the bill for so many months now, and I feel like I'm not worth to be the man that provides him with a safe home. I don't feel worthy enough of him, kaa-san."

I held my breath over the phone, and it seemed Mrs. Tachibana was doing the same, too.

"Makoto, I know that you love Haru. And I know that Haru loves you. If you talk to him and tell him -"

"That's the thing, kaa-san. I chose this job because Haru couldn't. I'm doing this for him. But, I also want to shape the newer generations on how to be good swimmers. How to be free, just like Haru."

I remember feeling my heart sink at that point, feeling almost guilty that it was difficult for me to communicate to Makoto that I did, in fact, care. I wanted him to let it out on me. I wanted him to tell me about the mistakes he's felt he made. Plus, Makoto didn't have to do any of this for me. I wouldn't have minded supporting him until he felt he was able to get back on his feet. It was what people who loved each other did, after all.

I sighed now, remembering the pang of guilt and self-hatred I felt for myself, for being unable to make Makoto happy. I reminisced as I sat on the sofa, fidgeting with my the fabric of my pants. The night that Makoto and I discovered each other's feelings, I had never seen Makoto's eyes shine so brightly.

* * *

_It was a cold night and snow was about to fall from the sky. I could see my breath coming out from my mouth whenever I breathed, and I saw Makoto's cheeks were red from his sensitivity to the cold. It made my heart swell, even though Makoto wasn't actually blushing. We walked side by side, our hands in our pockets. My fingers tingled at the desire to grab my best friend's hand and hold it with my own. It was driving me insane, thinking about how he was always within reach. All I had to do was reach out, and touch._

_It scared me, to be frank. I thought that Makoto would never feel the same. He was too perfect; everyone loved him. Surely, there was someone else more suited for him. There was someone else who didn't make him feel as though he was fighting a pointless battle. Someone who made him feel as though he made just for them._

_"Makoto, you've been fidgeting all night," I murmur._

_"Ah, really? Sorry, I'm just a little distracted."_

_I didn't answer. It was obvious that Makoto was distracted, and it certainly wasn't by our surroundings. It was snowing and Makoto pulls his wool hat tighter over his head. His bangs hover over his eyelashes, his eyes content. He walks with his hands in his pockets, and he had never appeared more adorable to me than he did at that moment. I feel my heart thump._

_"Haru?"_

_"Hmm?"_

_"Let's go sit there, it has benches. You look exhausted," Makoto points to a verandah with a roof covered in little snowflakes. I nod, and we begin walking towards the direction my best friend pointed to._

_We walk together in silence, my heart warm and beating fast from Makoto's presence. I feel stomach churn at the anticipation. I watch Makoto's face with my own turned, so I can look at him properly. The tips of his ears are now red from the cold, and the tip of his nose, too. Makoto turns his head and catches me look at him. I don't look away, but I stare instead. He gives me a tiny grin._

_"Ne, Haru."_

_"What is it?"_

_Makoto is silent until we reach the foot of the steps, before looking at me again. I raise my brow at the expression Makoto wears on his face. His eyes were the most content I'd ever seen them, and his smile gentler than he ever showed it to be. His cheeks are rosy, either from the cold or from something else entirely. Makoto seemed to be contemplating something, his face appearing as though he was daydreaming. I try calling his name, but he merely blinks and smiles wider._

_He reaches forward for my hands in my pockets. I watch him, making sure not to blink. I felt confused and even a bit frightened, my eyes wide from the contact. Makoto's lips pull into an ear-to-ear grin, his face full of pure affection. He places my hands upon his lips, one at a time. He kisses my knuckles, my fingers, my nails, my wrists. I feel myself melt at his touch. The walls I'd built to keep most people out were coming apart at my best friend's warmth._

_Holding me by my wrists, Makoto places my hands on either side of his face and shivers. He takes another step forward and I feel as though my heart will jump out of my chest. I watch Makoto's face, looking for some kind of explanation. I stare at Makoto's lips - they were so pink, and I bet they were soft, too. My eyes were glued to his lips, and I had every urge to brush my lips against his. Makoto didn't take his eyes off me, and he waited. What was he waiting for?_

_"Haru," he coos._

_I feel my heart thumping violently in my chest, and it feels as though I am paralyzed. I force myself to look into Makoto's eyes, and the second I do, all the pent up love I felt for him spread throughout my bloodstream. It filled my arteries, my veins, my capillaries, my lungs. I gulp. I wasn't sure what Makoto was telling me, or asking me. I blinked at him and he merely showed off his bright smile that caused me to go insane in the first place._

_I take a deep breath and rub the apples of his cheeks with my thumbs. I watch his eyes, and they seem to be filled with a new affection. It was different from the one he showed me just two seconds ago. I move a step closer, feeling slightly embarrassed. Makoto doesn't put his arms around me - he waits. Feeling self-conscious, I make very sure that I don't trip over my own shoes._

_I stare at Makoto's eyes as his face is only a breath away from mine. I gently touch my forehead to his, our noses grazing. I hear Makoto sigh, and he brings me closer to him. I am shivering from his warmth. His lips ghost over mine, and I feel my head become dizzy. I had never felt more wanted in my life as Makoto whispers my name repeatedly._

_"I love you," I whisper._

_Makoto smiles and breathes a sigh of relief._

_"I love you too, Haru."_

* * *

It was three hours past the time that Makoto normally came home for dinner. I felt my eyes begin to droop, and I groaned. I checked my phone for the hundredth time that night, and there was one missed call from Makoto as well as a text. I felt relief wash over me - so he was safe.

To: nanaseharuka .jp

From: tachimakochan .jp

Subject: Sorry

Haru, I was running a bit late today because the kids were having a hard time grasping the free style. I thought about calling you over,

but I thought better of it. You must be tired from making dinner. I'm on my way home now, and I hope

there's lots of mackerel for me to eat! I love you - Makoto.

I snorted, feeling silly that I was worried moreso tonight than I was in the past week. I sighed as I laid down my phone. Just as I did, there was a knock on the door. I loitered for a bit, but upon remembering Makoto's message, I jumped up and practically sprinted to the door. When I open it, Makoto's haggard face appears before me, his eyes present with eyebags. He grins, but his shoulders seem to sink. I grab his hand and drag him inside our apartment, sitting him down on the sofa. He groans. I kiss the tip of nose and he giggles, a sound I never grow tired of. As I'm heating up Makoto's dinner, I hear a rustling in the living room where I left him. He was probably laying down.

There was another noise that I heard, though.

"Haru..." Makoto cries, his voice shaky from his sobs. I feel my heart drop to my stomach, an endless shower of daggers raining on my chest. I place Makoto's plate on the dining table, not caring about the fact that I was angry at him earlier. I saunter to the living room to find my lover curled up in a ball on the sofa, sobbing my name. I felt my world come apart at the sight, and felt my own heart break. I walk towards Makoto, my hands shaking. I sit on the floor before him, and his tearful eyes stare at me, his expression filled with remorse. I feel a pang of pain in my heart and stomach. I move closer to Makoto's face, kissing his nose, then his tears. I slowly pull up Makoto into a seating position. I kiss his face and his hands as he watches me. I sit down next to him, and he leans his head against my chest, his arms around my waist. I hold him close to me, and the room is silent, except for the beat of our hearts.


	2. Chapter 2

**so I'm trying very hard not to procrastinate with this fic, because then I'll never get around to it. i'm also sort of working on a crossover for Free!, so after this fic, i might start working on that. but for now, this fic will be getting my full attention until it's finished :-) of course, it's not going to be that long, either! just a bit of plot and mostly smut! start of the smut is this chapter :-) also i am so sorry this chapter is short! i just wanted to get a kick off to the smut - this is only the beginning ;) Kiki xo**

* * *

Makoto's hands are balled into fists on his lap. He refuses to look at me, and when I try smoothing his fingers out, he clenches tighter. I felt useless - more than I have ever felt - as Makoto's supposed lover. I call his name, cooing it and rolling it gently on my tongue to get his attention. He wouldn't budge. I lay my head against his shoulder, and it is only then that he turns to look at me, his eyes empty.

"I'm so sorry, Haru."

I look at him, not saying anything.

"I promised that I would make you happy, that I'd be able to provide for you and protect you. But I can't even do the first thing on that list."

Makoto's eyes are so filled with remorse that it causes the pain in my body to continue spreading like wildfire. He is feeling guilty for something that is not his own fault - typical Makoto. He stares at me, waiting for a reaction that he deemed "appropriate" for him to feel even worse about himself.

"I'm not upset," I whisper, causing his eyes to widen.

"Why are you not upset?"

"Maybe because it has to do with the fact that you don't _have_ to be the very thing that I chose not to be."

"What do you mean?"

"You chose being a coach for them because I couldn't. You know that I only swim for my own pleasure, so you felt it was your duty to keep the swimming spirit alive."

Makoto purses his lips, his brow knitted together.

"But Makoto, the swimming spirit won't _just_ stay alive if you coach them."

I lift my head off his shoulders and look him straight in the face. He seems to be surprised, taken aback, even. His wide eyes have begun discarding the remorse that filled them earlier.

"The fact that you even think about keeping it alive already makes me happy. It made me just as happy when you said you loved me, Makoto."

His eyes are now pools of affection - something I hadn't seen in months. His mouth is a perfect smile, a rosy pink touching them. Makoto knew, deep down, that I would never be upset at him just because he wasn't able to provide as much as he'd like. He didn't even _have_ to provide, particularly with the money that I had to support the both of us. It was just like him, wanting to take responsibility of taking care of both of us.

What he forgot was the fact that it works the other way, too. I can provide for him and protect him, too.

"But Haru -"

"No. You don't need to apologize," I breathe.

"Yes, I do! I promised I would provide for you, and that I would protect you. I promised to be the man worthy of taking care of you," he says.

I stare at him, feeling frustration bubble up inside of me. I knew that Makoto became like this whenever he can't keep up his end of a promise. But I was his lover for a reason: I understood him better than anyone else could. There was a reason I am his best friend, and the reason that we are together: we fit together like a puzzle.

"Makoto, I am here for you. I will provide for you for as long as I am alive, and you don't need to worry about once or twice when you can't provide for me. This whole relationship business is meant to be equivalent, no matter what you say."

Makoto's eyes soften at my words and he sighs. I knew I'd gotten through to him, at that point. He smiled, and I felt a warmth in my pants. We hadn't made love in months, I realized. I kiss his face where the tear stains left their mark, and he laughs. His hands gently caress my lower back, an indication of affection.

"I love you, Makoto. Please remember that."

At my words, Makoto becomes almost rigid, and I smirk against his neck. I kiss it, nibbling just slightly as I move towards his collarbone. I felt goosebumps arise on my skin and I shiver when Makoto touches them. He sighs when I make lewd noises along his collarbone. I hum against him, and he whispers my name. I'm just about to peel off his shirt when his strong arms wrap tighter around my waist, and I am on my back. I blink and Makoto's face is above mine, his eyes _hungry_. He leans down and his lips collide with mine, our tongues mingling in a battle of who is more lustful.

Makoto's hands don't move around me, but they stay on either side of my face. I feel lightheaded when Makoto moves away from my lips to lave at my jaw. I react to the action by slightly bucking my hips, my erection attempting to break free. Makoto chuckles and he places a hand on my hips, holding me down. A sigh leaves my lips at the recognition that his hand is so _close_ to my aching member. I curl my toes.

Makoto spreads my legs now, and he places himself in between. He leans forward, and his member grazes mine through the fabric. I feel myself about to snap from the close proximity. Makoto begins moving against me, our crotches grinding slowly. I let out a horrendous moan and am almost embarrassed when Makoto stops.

"What do you think you're doing?" he husks.

"I didn't mean to -"

"No. Keep doing it."

"_What_?!"

"_Haru!_" Makoto moans, his voice momentarily back to his old self.

"You want me to keep...?" I ask as I pant.

Makoto moves to place his head beside my ear. He licks the lobe, then proceeds to suck on it, humming.

"If you keep doing it, I'll suck you until you need to hold onto my head for support," he whispers, a tone of mischief in his voice.

I feel my heart leap and all the blood that had not already moved to my nether regions were now flooding down south. I know Makoto is smirking. He kisses the side of my neck, lapping at the skin. I don't let myself hold back, even at the little things he does. His fingers dig into my hips, causing me to rub against his member harder. He's breathing hard, and sweat is beginning to form at my hairline. With his other hand, Makoto reaches under my shirt, stroking my stomach and my chest. I shiver, and feel a whimper in my throat.

He sticks out his tongue and sucks hard on the area below my earlobe. He makes lewd noises as he laves at my skin and I feel precum leaking from my member. I am desperate and putty in Makoto's arms. His hand that was previously on my hip is now unbuttoning my pants. He skillfully undoes the zip, and moving away from my face, he lowers himself. His face is before my boxers, which shows my erection perfectly. Makoto smiles at the sight and he rubs my inner thighs. His lips move to kiss them, gentle at first, then he moves faster with his tongue.

A strangled moan leaves my throat through my mouth, and I see Makoto cock an eyebrow.

"I haven't even taken off your underwear yet," he says, a coy smile pulling the side of his lips.

"You're being a tease," I whine.

He licks the area near my member slowly, dragging his tongue left and right. His tongue and lips come near my member and I am tempted to push it in his face. However, he moves away from my aching erection and I groan loudly. I know what he wanted. He wanted me to beg. Makoto's lips move closer to my knee, and further away from my heat.

"Makoto," I pant.

"It's more fun this way, Haru-chan. This way, I get to unravel you completely," he says, his hand moving to my member and rubbing it gently. My hips buck and Makoto presses against me with his hand. His eyes bore into me and I couldn't remember the last time I saw spots even before all my clothes were off. Makoto hums at the bulge in my boxers and I squirm. His eyes swallow me bit by bit, starting from my face to my erection. His eyes linger, and I can almost see his lust take him over. He places a hand on my member and presses with a bit of pressure, causing more precum to leak from me. I gasp.

"We're only just getting started, Haru-chan."


End file.
